I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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