Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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