Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
