don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
