so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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