WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
