Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
