I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
