Duck Duck Cougar?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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