We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did I show you my penis last night?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
