You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm too high and old for this...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
