i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
