At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
