i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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