Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
