So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
