I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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