Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
