The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize