We're facebook friends in real life
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
