Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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