you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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