worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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