I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
