I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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