i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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