Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
