I just made out with a guy for $7.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
