Nicole vs. Life
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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