Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize