I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
