I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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