So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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