lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
