For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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