I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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