Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
