she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
