Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
