All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize