i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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