can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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