No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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