After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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