All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
