these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Randomize
