I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
