and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
