don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
