You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
