i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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