she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
