don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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