we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
