i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
