Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

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(678): View more from Georgia

Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"

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(402): View more from Nebraska

My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.

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(206): View more from Washington

he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents

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(516): View more from New York

The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!

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