So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
