u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
