I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Four minutes until I can fart!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
