Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
