I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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