imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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