Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
